Prophetic Times and Work in Progress

Dennis texted me in great excitement today.  ’Get today’s Daily Mail page 13 I think you will be very very interested.’  I was busy leafleting in town for our show The Boyfriend (never miss out on an opportunity to plug your show) so I texted back, ‘What does it say?’  and he replied, ‘The headline of the article says sperm donor mum tracks down her son’s global family.’  Ha ha.  He was right.  I was very very interested.  When I got home I looked it up online.  It is here for you with pictures of the Lost Boys and all.  I loved this bit:  ’‘The similarities are uncanny. They all share what must be their father’s hair, distinctive shaped eyes, eye colour, head shape and noses.’ Kerching!

I am quite chuffed that I must therefore once again be hailed as a prophet.  Just like I were when me tits book turned out to be all coming true, when that Covent Garden Ice-cream parlour The Icecreamists started selling human boobie-milk ice-cream.  Makes me think I have quite a responsibility in deciding what to write next.  I could maybe try for world peace?  No, sadly, for some unfathomable reason, no doubt due to a blockage in a past life, I can only write and prophesy about bodily fluids.

Quite by-the-by, I found something online today that looks truly amazing and like it is from the future.  A three-d pen!  It’s called the 3doodle, and I think everyone in the world will really really want one.

Fred is busy creating the cover for Shardonnay. I have gone with Bashi’s dictionary idea, with Shardie’s very own definition of the word ‘consequence‘   highlighted.  As soon as it’s done, I’ll post it for you.  We have also prepared and re-formatted the text, ready for it to become an e-book on a site called Smashwords.

Sorry you can’t have any chapters yet of Shardonnay:  the Sequel, (it’s not necessarily going to be The Big Mojito) but I need to finish it before I can start posting.  Because sometimes, as you near the end of a book, it suddenly becomes obvious what the real beginning of the book should have been and you have to rewrite it.  By the end if you are lucky you sometimes find the proper title too.  I wonder how Dickens or Thackeray coped with this problem.  Maybe they too were obliged to finish the whole before starting serialisation.

Anyway, for anyone what cares, (and I really don’t expect you to), please be advised the sequel appears to be writing itself, driven by that powerhouse what is Shardonnay.  It is already 11,000 words in and growing apace.  I must say, that girl don’t take no shit from no author.  Help!  Am being bullied!  Despite her energy levels, the work will still take at least two weeks though so steady on.  I get people hassling me in the street/at my yoga/in Waitrose.  All very lovely, but I do have a lot of poos to pick up in the ponies’ field you know, plus coming up the Bollywood Nights event, The Boyfriend, a Japanese exchange and a Munster exchange.  Can’t just sit in bed with two dogs and one cat on top of the quilt, one dog (naughty Whisky) under the quilt, type type typing away.  That would be lazy and wicked.  ;)