I am going for chemo today at midday. Just thought I should update quickly as a lot of things have happened.
Yesterday I went to Oncology to have blood taken. Ferdinandos walked in with a different nurse, Eileen.
‘I have to tell you some things…’ he said ‘..as we have the results from all your scans.’
I braced myself, as you do.
‘We don’t want you to worry but….’ he said.
Oh, hells bells. My mind flicked through all possible scenarios. Body riddled with cancer. Two weeks to live. Put affairs in order. Make a will.
‘The CT scan showed two small nodules on the lung’ he said. ‘We don’t know what they are. They are very small, 6mm. They could be nothing.’
‘Nodules….lung,’ I said. ‘OK.’ I realised my heart was beating fast.
‘For this reason we do not recommend the trial. For the trial you would need completely clear scans.’
‘It’s just protocol,’ reassured Eileen. ‘The nodules are probably nothing.’
Oh, OK, no trial then. Ferdinandos looked a bit disappointed, but still jolly handsome.
‘Sorry,’ I said.
‘It’s not your fault,’ he said.
‘Could the nodules be cancer?’ I asked. You have to ask, otherwise you are annoyed later that you didn’t and you have to wait three weeks before you can ask again.
‘They could be metastatic disease, yes,’ he agreed. ‘If they were bigger, we would put a needle in them and biopsy, but they are too small….I think it is unlikely, but we will keep them at the back of our minds.’
Poor man, having to keep lots of people’s nodules at the back of his mind all the time.
He then told me some good things: my ECG showed that my heart is fine. Nothing wrong with it. This means I can have Herceptin. Also, my bones are all fine. He also told me what the ultrasound people had already told me. That the lump has shrunk from 16mm to 11mm. I asked him if there were any other measurements. He said the only other measurement was 10mm which has not changed. Oh dear, we will have to recalculate. Funny that it has shrunk in one direction and not in the other.
We shook hands. Eileen said on the way out ‘You know, you shouldn’t worry about it. We probably all have nodules, we just don’t know about them.’
‘Yes, thanks, that’s true,’ I smiled.
The nurses are so kind.
I am packing my remedy, my warrior, my green tea flask, a bottle of water. I am slightly wuzzed about this FEC thing, as Claire’s cousin Becky started it last Friday and says she feels worse than after her op. ‘At least then I didn’t feel ill. It was just painful which can be managed.’ She says to take the anti-sickness stuff as soon as you feel sick. She made the mistake of going to lie down to see if it passed, and then threw up for hours.
Guess who is taking me to chemo? Chloe! She is back from Boston for the summer. She has learnt to clean. I know, very odd. But she wakes up as we are going to bed and goes to bed as we are waking up.
BTW Fred has started his own blog. (It’s not normal, don’t go there.) So now both of us will sit around tapping away while Chloe cleans up lol.
Oh, all right: if you want to check out Fred’s blog the link is: Fred’s blog . It’s very helpful if you can’t get to sleep.