It’s Tabby’s nineteenth birthday this coming Wednesday, so Bash and I zoomed down to Guildford to see her this morning and deliver her presents from us and from Gwanny. We had a wander round the shops and bought her some stuff in Urban Outfitters, cor what a lovely shop. We were celebrating offers of places from Royal Scottish in Glasgow and Mountview in London, whoop whoop.
Then we went to her digs. She looks out on a bank of snowdrops. Bash took photos of Tabby as Shardonnay for the cover because I can’t operate a camera for some reason. The brief was an ‘oops, what’ve I gone and done now though?’ type look. Here is a selection for you. Please bear in mind, the whole operation took less than five minutes as Bash had to get back for another costume call and rehearsal for The Boyfriend (14th to 16th March at the Rhodes! Please come!) by three pm.
Which one do you think is best?
Here is another. ‘Oops, like litrally, what have I gone and done now, though?’
Another: ‘ It’s hard to know what’s goin on, sometimes, innit? I mean, things just get away from you, and before you know it, they’re out of control.’
And again: ‘Wot, Pat? You tellin me you been exportin the stuff all this time? Wot? All round the world?’
Slightly less extreme might be: ‘What I done ain’t that bad, is it? Me mum says, Shardonnay, it could always of turned out worse.’
Or maybe: ‘Yeah, truth is, I got meself in a bit of a mess here, but you gotta laugh, aincha? Especially when you’ve had a few.’
‘It is a hard job, Shelley, gettin it off of him three times a day!’
‘And then again, thinkin about it, he probly would be pleased to know that his little offerin ain’t goin to waste.’
‘Yeah, say what you like but I’ll do whatever I like with it. He give it to me volanterily.’
‘Yeah, it don’t look like much, but it pays the bills, oh yeah. And if you need the money, you need the money.’
I’m thinking the second one might be the best.
So, The World According to Shardonnay is already available as an e-book on Smashwords to download for kindle etc. It’s $2.99. I’ll give you the link next time as it will have its new cover image in a few days. Fred did a mock-up of what I had in mind, but Smashwords recommend you order a proper one, which we did, and so far, it looks fantastic.