Hi all. I’ve been busy helping my dear ‘friend’ Doreen Doily launch her educational videos online. Please check her out. She loves having comments and new requests for subjects to be covered, so please help her in that way.
I am also considering translating Kedda’s version of Private Parts for our times, since not many of my readers can understand what’s gwannin on. Funny that, seeing as how I’ve even taken the trouble to illustrate it: there is a massive pic of a deccoed moufleur staring out at the reader. The only person who understood what the pic really is, was my friend Sue, who is a gynaecologist in America. Well, that’s a no-brainer, as Doreen would say.
I was astonished to read Caitlyn Moran’s Times Magazine article on the Camel Toe, and to see her read it out on Youtube. Talking about her vagina, she says ‘In another world, I’d like to think I’d be in the running for a prize to acknowledge its munificence — in the same way others are rewarded for growing a large sunflower or marrow.’
Well, this other world she is describing is Kedda’s world, the world described in Private Parts! Kedda spends all day in the salon, decorating people’s genitals. Indeed, because everyone has their face covered by a darsk, from birth, their only outlet for self-expression is through the extravagant grooming of their moufleurs and vaddervanillis.
I knew my timing was right! The world is ready for Kedda and her fokkadokka understanding of the trilly fashwerve. I just need to translate it from Keddaling, quick.
The world is also ready for Doreen, because there are too many long-drawn-out tutorials online. Doreen makes the excellent point that ‘you only need a minute because…it’s enough.’ Today she’s doing ‘cooking,’ and will be asking this important question: why should one stop at a fried mars bar? Why not get on and fry a flake, a twix, a bounty? Students are going to love it.